Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Really Quickly--- The Take Home Message: You're Worth It!!!

Has anyone else noticed how Brad is always saying "Can I borrow you really quickly? Just real quick?" Or when someone steals him away, he'll be like "Sorry, I'm just gonna go with her really quickly." Well "Really Quickly" is the opposite of my blog this week. So I would just like to take a moment to apologize to my 11 followers and to the 33 people who viewed my page yesterday and found no blog.That's right!!! I recently discovered the "Stats" tab on my blog, and it's been quite fun to see some info on how many people looked at my blog, etc. Also you can see search terms that people used on Google which led them to the blog. But don't worry, I can't tell who anyone specifically IS, so if I have any stalkers or lurkers out there, you are still safe.

But there is one issue I would like to address. One person searched "Emily on the Bachelor looks older than 23" and landed on my blog. And I just want to say that I AGREE!!!!! She DOES look older than 23 and I have been meaning to point that out! I think several of those girls look older than their alleged age, and for the sake of decency, I really hope that some of them ARE older!!

Anyway, let's get to it!Michelle wakes up with a black eye. WTF??? Seriously. She is such a nut job, I'm not really even sure what to say about her anymore. The main thing I find myself wondering about her is: "Is this chick for real??" Or is this some deliberate psycho character she is playing just for fun? Well, last week as I was perusing the competition (other Bachelor blogs) I came across a tidbit of info. Psycho Michelle is an actress. And here is the trailer for her movie:

Hmm... interesting that her little caption on The Bach describes her as a hairstylist from Utah. HA!!! Yeah right. I think this movie makes it quite clear that she's an actress living here in LA. So she's pretty much so weird and obviously crazy that she isn't really worth my time going on about it.
So Chris Harrison pops in on the girls and surprises them once again before they have a chance to put any make-up on!He reminds us all once again that this week there will be three dates: two one on one dates and one group date. One on one dates are great, but if you don't get a rose, you go home STAT, so you need to have your bags packed. Complex!
So Chantal packs up her pretty, hot pink, plastic luggage in preparation for her one on one date.
Brad shows up and then a big yellow helicopter flies to the Bachelor mansion, making all the other girls jealous. Brad whisks Chan away to Catalina Island. I have been there once with my Dad... who by the way I've been meaning to state that I have a great Dad. I just thought I should put it out there since this season has been so much about bum Dads.
Turns out they are going scuba diving. Chantal reveals that she does NOT just get in the ocean. That is a big deal to her! Hahaha!!! You guys, I do NOT just write this blog.

Oh wait... yes I do.
She declares that she will go to the bottom of the ocean with Brad, because he is worth it! So, that is when I had my first revelation of the night. Is Brad really worth it?? IS he??? He is only some guy she just met. I think if anything, she should go to the bottom of the ocean because SHE is worth it, and she thinks it's worth taking a chance for HERSELF that she might find someone special. You can't say some guy you met five minutes ago is worth anything.

But whatever. I kind of like Brad and Chantal together. There are other girls in the house that I like, but that I really don't think are good with Brad. But Chantal, even though she is ten inappropriate years younger than him, I sort of think it's ok. Like at least she has lived some life and been through things, such as a divorce. And she sees more mature than some of the ladies... if she could get her tears under control.
BRAD: Chantal, will you accept this rose?
CHANTAL: Of course I will!! Do you think I would ever NOT accept a rose from you??!!

Uhm, way to play hard to get, C! Don't make it too easy from him!!! Have you learned nothing from my blog???!!
Meanwhile back at the mansion, the ring-and-run-bandit strikes again. A date card is left in his wake. Ashley S, Stacey, Lindsey, Britt, Meghan, Alli, Lisa, Ashley H and Jackie are invited on a group date.
Michelle is not invited, so she needs some time to sulk alone with a camera crew on the wicker bench and pine away for a one on one date.
Awww... Brad looks so cute and happy to see everyone! I think now that he is getting to know them all better and getting into the swing of things, he is starting to feel more comfortable and let his guard down a little.
Hmm... so this group date is a session with Dr. Drew of Loveline fame. The main thing I have to say about Lovelines, is that I remember when Adam Carolla was on it, and I found him to be hilarious.
Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Drew. He's ok. But I really don't buy into everything he says. I have definitely heard him give a lot of bum advice. Maybe he has some good points, but I dunno. There's advice and then there's soundbites.
Brad was super eager to talk about his inner feelings though! He told Drew he wants to figure out with whom he is compatible.Hilarious!!!! Uhmmmmm, so tell me: is getting drunk part of a normal therapy session??? Because if so, then I've really been missing out!! So during Drunk Therapy with Dr. Drew, we learn that Ashley H. is retreating big time, that Stacey once cheated in college, and that Brad NEVER cheated... not even as a little boy on the playground. I support that.

So after Drew and Brad get the women's emotions all riled up, they then take the date back to Brad's mansion and more specifically into his hot tub. This is so that in case they weren't already feeling uncomfortable enough after the session with Drew, they can now compare bodies in the hot tub and get some body image issues going.
And just to ensure that we at home can also start feeling insecure, Brad keeps all his clothes on, so that no one is distracted from her own body image issues by ogling Brad. What the hell, Brad? You let all the ladies get naked, and you just hang out in sweats?? Pop that shirt off, B! He probably feels embarrassed hanging out with all these girls that could be his daughters. Did anyone else get the vibe that it was a pool party while the parents were out of town, and Brad was the older brother assigned to watch his little sister's friends, but was secretly checking them all out? No?? Just me??? Ok.

So now they all start cat-fighting over some one on one time with Brad. The main player is Ashley H.
Look at that. Sorry, but if you have a bad botox job on your forehead, then I am going to call you out. So basically, this is how I feel about her. I do get that she is being annoying and jealous and totally insecure. But for some reason, I'm really not that mad at her. I think she really has every right to feel all worked up and jealous and freaked out. Who wouldn't be if some guy you were into was playing around with thirteen other women?? So, I think that if she was really into herself, then she should have just left. Why stick around and take the abuse? Not everyone is insane enough strong enough to put up with that.I really did love the part though when he walked up to the hot tub about to give out the rose... then Ashley H. started spewing some negativity... and then he suddenly changed his mind, and gave it to someone else!!! Hahahaha!!!! That was hilarious.

But seriously if you were Britt.. the one who got the rose "instead"... wouldn't you be kind of hurt and upset to know you weren't going to originally get the rose??!!! HAHAHAHA!!! OUCH!!!!
Also, sorry but she looks anorexic.

Ok, so the next day, Brad shows up at the mansion to take crazy-ass-Michelle on her one on one date. But FIRST, he pulls Ash H. aside to give her a stern talking to.
BRAD: Don't ever sass me again, Ashley H. Stop making any mention or expression of your perfectly normal feelings of jealousy and frustration. Pretend like this is normal and continue to lay in wait for me until I decide it's time for you to go home.

ASHLEY H: Yes, Master Brad. You are worth it. I really am NOT jealous or anything!!! Our connection is real!
Michelle gets all psycho and mad.... as she does. This is because Brad is spending time on Ashley H. when it's supposed to be HER (Michelle's) day. Chantal calls her out, which I totally supported. I really am starting to like Chantal more this episode.
My favorite moment of Chantal's was when she was like "Michelle is insane, she just grabbed his arm... hopefully she doesn't act like that on their date... wait, actually, hopefully she DOES act like that on their date." I think it showed that she isn't crazy, insane and jealous and viewing the whole thing as some sort of competition. And I also liked how she was like "Well, if he DOES pick Michelle in the end, then he certainly isn't the guy for me."

Seriously, right???? I mean, we can't get upset with ourselves if men have bad taste in women. That's their prerogative.
Ok you guys, so now I'm starting to get nervous. For two reasons. One - like crazy Michelle, I too am afraid of heights. But secondly and more importantly, because the Bachelor/-ette ALWAYS picks the person that they go on the crazy height-date with. Does this mean that Brad is actually going to pick Michelle in the end?????????? Seriously??? He does seem really into her. Let's think back to Bachelor/-ettes past.

Exhibit A - Ali picked Roberto...after jumping off something w/ him (I think)
Exhibit B - Jake picked Vienna after jumping off a bridge with her and crying like a little baby
Exhibit C - Jillian picked Ed after zip-wiring across some tall buildings
Exhibit D - Jason Mesnick picked... actually I can't remember this far back. But if he went on a jumping date w/ either Molly or Melissa, it is another example of my point!
So yeah, I'm getting kind of worried. And Brad seems truly blind to what a bat-sh!t-crazy she is! He's like seriously into her and finds her sexy and fun, etc. It's really pretty weird and creepy if you ask me.
So back at the mansh, the girls are talking about the Michelle and Brad. And I think that Chantal looked really cute in her little bed-time glasses!! Hahahaha!!! She is really pretty and there are a couple other girls that put on glasses at night, which I think is cute.Anyway, Michelle gets a rose, which is annoying on two levels. One obviously because she is Michelle. And two because - when are we going to get to see some one on one dates where the chick DOESN'T get the rose???? Those are the best and most interesting!!! I love watching bad dates flop and then the girl not get the rose. That is when we get such classic lines as "He's not attracted to me???? Who does he think he is??? God???!!?" --- Natalie who loves bears.
Now Brad goes and has another session with his therapist. Uhhh.... so are we going to have to watch him talking to his therapist every episode??? Because it's pretty boring and it's taking up valuable airtime that could be devoted to cat fights... or Brad taking his shirt off.
Finally it's time for the cocktail party. So we didn't see two of my favorite girls this week -- Emily (everyone's fave) and Shawntel (my fave bc she is a pretty funeral director!) Shawntel takes him aside and forces him to pick her up, then kiss her, etc. Yikes! Shawn, I do like you... but it's never a good sign when you have to tell a guy to kiss you!! Sorry!!
Brad, like the rest of America, missed Emily this week. Therefore, he prepared a little picnic for her to recreate their first date. I don't know... I think she can do better than Brad, and I'm really starting to hope she is the next Bachelorette. I've been starting to think ahead to the future about that. I think Emily would be a good choice.This is the part where Chantal starts crying because she feels "stupid" for having felt something strong for Brad on their date. Yeah, I would feel that way too!! I think stupid is a good word!
Oh yeah, did anyone else see this? Brad did the dorkiest little hop-skip after he laid out the blanket for Emily!!! OMGGG!!! Hahahaaaaa... sometimes I just feel like "Awwww... OMG Brad you are just so innocent!!" Hahahaa!!! I think he is genuine. ??? Is he?? I don't know. Ahhh!!
All right, finally it's time for the rose ceremony. This one was uneventful. No one runs out or anything scandalous. He just gives out a bunch of roses. The one thing though that DID really annoy me was how Ashley H got the last rose. OBVIOUSLY!!! That was soooooo obvious!!!!! I smelled that one coming from a mile away. And I don't really like the overtones that it's like a WARNING to her or something that she better watch her step and not cross Brad again, else next time she will NOT get the last rose!! Screw that, screw the show and screw Brad... she should just go home. Who needs to put up with this?
Going home are: Lindsey, Meghan and Stacey. I have a couple questions:
1. What is the difference between Alli and Meghan? Are they, or are the not the same person?
2. Who is Lindsay?
3. Who is Lisa?
4. Who is Marissa?Seriously. Start sending people home that we KNOW. Or starting letting us get to know the people he is sending home!!I think Stacey got tossed out because she cheated!!! Ouch!! That hurts!!! I guess that is the risk of being honest!! You never know who is going to accept you for who you are!!

Yours in the Single Life,
Julie Julie

PS - Looks like next week, Shawntel gets all kinds of presents from Brad... which normally annoys me.
BUT.... looks like she is getting PURSES!!!!
What brand is that?


  1. My THM is that I am just plain confused. How can you like Dolly Parton AND crazy Mich!? They are soooo different. I'm perplexed. Here is my theory. He WANTS to like Dolly, he WANTS to fall in love w/a sweet, wholesome, innocent coal-miners daughter...but, he just can't. There is ZERO connection between those two, as much as he wishes there was....there's just not and nothing you can do will change that. There IS however some burning chemistry between B-Mack and crazy Mich. I mean, honestly, if i had just watched their dates and not all of her pyshco blabber before hand, i would have thought they were a perfect couple, there is TONS of chemistry, HOWEVER, I do also think it is ONLY sexual chemistry, cause deep down, she DOES legitamatly seem CRAZY to me. I like Shawntel O, but her insecurities ARE starting to annoy me. I also have a big woman crush on Alli and am WAY excited for their one on one date next week. She is a BEAUTIFUL, independant WOMAN who is also sweet and bubbely and vunerable (did i just use that word). So, i know it's called a Bromance, but what is it called when you have a woman crush?
    Some other things. First and formost, I do NOT believe in forcing people to do sh(t that they do NOT want to do. Lets go scale this 20 story building - NO. No man will force my as8 into doing something i don't want to do and i think it is REALLY wrong if he does. Being in a relationship IS about doing new things together and getting through it together, HOWEVER, it is NOT about forcing your partner who is petrified to suffer through something that she is clearly NOT going to enjoy just be YOU want to do it. F that.
    I KNEW Meghan was going to get the boot. Their one on one time was really BAD. If you're still like, "oh, hi, yeah, I'm good. How are you" this far onto the show, you're going to get the B.O.O.T. I really have NO idea whose going to make it to the end.....

  2. So now that I've read your blog i can post more comments that i forgot to post the first time :) First, Brad. Lets talk about B-Mack..... Yeah, not really doing it for me. I mean, Brad is actually...kind of BORING. Sorry Jules, I know you like him, but, besides his perfectly sculpted body....there's not much left to him that would keep me interested. He's not funny, he's not entertaining, he doesn't do cute things, he doesn't say funny things, he doesn't have a great personality. He doesn't seem creative or indepedant or strong or ambitious or smart. I mean, he really does NOTHING for me. UNlike Andrew Firestone who was THE HOTTEST Bachelor EVER. Dear GOD I was in LOVE with that man. HE was HOTTTTTT, i mean HOT and funny and playful and had a great personality. Watching Firestone made ME want to go be on the Bachelore for REALZ. I LOVE Andrew Firestone - LOVEEEEEEEE him. Too bad he is married now w/a kid - NOT so hot. Actually, Fire Boy is the ONLY Bachelor I've ever REALLY been INTO as in, I would totally date him.
    Ok, back to Brad.....BORING. And, I also hate to say it, but in REAL life, I think most of those girls would also find him pretty boring. They have to remind themselves that The Bach, the show, has a way to putting B-mack on a pedistol. They need to knock him OFF and it and then ask themselves, w/o the $ and the dates, would I even like him!???
    Also, here is my opinion on Shawn O. She's getting WAY too caught up in this whole thing. She's basically dated ONE guy - her husband. She needs to play the field for awhile. A more mature, experiencd, stong, independeant woman would not be crying like a baby.
    Also, yes, Julie Alli and Meghan ARE the same person. There was a 3rd girl that also looked JUST like them and they were the 3 I was saying look like Rachel Herburg to me!!!! :) I LOVE Alli.
    Last comment, I'm pretty sure Dolly Parton does NOT end up w/Brad. I think she is too boring to be the next Bachelorette though, although, MAYBE if they made her the next Bachel we'd get to see some QUALITY guys on the show, which leads me to my point which is when Dolly returns to Charlotte, NC, she is going to have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO trouble finding a man ASAP. I bet there are a TON of good ole Southern boys looking for a coal miners daughter, she won't be single for long.
    Also, I seriously think it is WRONG for them to take her to a Nascar racing event....REALLY people her husband was a race car driver - WTF? That's just immoral.

  3. yeah, apparently they asked all the girls this season what they are most afraid of - and then organized their date around that.

    Stuck Shawn down in the ocean, sent michelle off the top of a 100 story building, sent dolly up in a plane...and now she gets to go on a nascar date too!

  4. O. PS. Did anyone else notice how INSANELY HOT and GORGEOUS that radio talk show host was!!!??? NOT Dr. Drew, whoever his dark haired dark eyed, HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT side kick was....I would have been like Brad who!?????


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