Monday, May 31, 2010

The Take Home Message: There Are Many Fish in the Sea

So the take home message that hit me about the premiere episode of The Bachelorette is how time can change situations. A few months ago, it seemed like Ali’s only prospect of finding love was Pavelka:

That is because Jake WAS the only guy around in The Bachelor world (other than the off-camera producers, one of whom Roz had an inappropriate relationship with). So I realized that when you are so set on one guy, it seems like he is the ONLY guy for you, but in Reality (so to speak), there are tons of guys out there that could be interesting/interested. Men seem to already have this concept down, so I recommend to all the women out there that we live our lives as if we are The Bachelorette and not just another contestant on The Bachelor.

Anyway... so, as for Ali... I am not a HUGE fan of hers, but I accept her. At least she is pretty and acts cute for the camera. I noticed she was acting all sweet and nice and super giggly all night long, when we already know that is NOT who she really is. We have seen her fierceness come out on The Bachelor, so I think it’s fake for her to act all sweet and nice... she’s been acting that way in the press too, as she’s promoting her show. Well, whatever, she has to act that way. So we’ll see. I just think it’s lame how girls have to act all sweet and nice and dumb when they first meet people. On the other hand, I guess men try to act all nice when they first meet people too, so no one really acts like themselves straight up. So anyway, we’ll see how she performs this season.

So, a few of the men were memorable to me.

Frank - the screenwriter, I am NOT impressed with. It’s not necessary to quit your day job in order to pursue writing. You can actually write when you get off work. It’s also not necessary to move to Paris to write scripts either. And I liked part when Ali was like “Paris is amazing! I’ve never been.” I think he also jumped on the roof of the limo... which was super-annoying and showy. I noticed that several of the men felt compelled to scale the limos. Men are so weird. Anyway, Frank will fit in well with that “on” personality of his when he’s struggling to make it in Hollywood in a few months.

Rated R - I actually thought that he WAS pretty genuine-seeming, despite winning the “Being There For The Wrong Reason” award. And I think Ali likes him. I get that he is a professional wrestler, but if he is really on the show to promote his career, I’d venture to say he’s hitting the WRONG demographic in The Bachelorette’s audience. I think he has a really sweet little smile and seems sweet and nice. Of course, he could be tricking me, so we’ll see.

Craig M. - looks like he will bring some good drama. I thought it was really funny how all the other guys were making fun of his luscious locks of hair. He looks like Brian Hackett from Wings to me, combined with Dean McDermott of Tori and Dean fame, combined with other generic 90s hot guys. He seems really intense though, and I’d probably be afraid of him if (and honestly, you guys, WHEN) I meet him in real life.

The Weatherman - I thought had some good jokes and made some pretty funny comments, including taking shots at Craig M’s hair. However, he looks like he’s about five feet tall, and even though I’m not that into tall guys, this dude looks like SERIOUSLY petite. I also got a bit of a gay vibe from him... and he kind of strikes me as an annoying little beetle.

Shooter - yeah, telling Ali the story of how you got your “nickname” was a total FAIL. What the hell? Did he come up with that idea all on his own, or did some producer egg him into thinking that was a good idea? So obviously disgusting, and thank god she sent him home. I guess they need a resident perv in the bunch of men. Tanner the foot fetish perv got to stick around last season though, but Shooter was way grosser, so I’m glad he is gone.

Roberto - he got the First Impression Rose, so I guess it seems obvious for me to say she likes him, but yeah, I definitely got that she has a big crush on him. Other than that, he didn’t make much of an impression on me.

Chris L - said his parents are still together, when in fact his mom has died. Obviously I’m sad for him that his mom died, but, it’s also kind of AWKWARD that he said they are still together.

Anyway.... overall, I actually thought most of the guys were pretty cute. No one particularly stood out to me, I just thought the vibe overall was that they were hot. As you know, my dream boy is David Duchovny... and these guys also seemed to have nice faces.

Sarah and I had such an AMAZING time at The Bachelorette viewing party in Hollywood:

We met up with famous past contestants:

Robbie D, the bartender

Juan, the violator of man-code

and Natalie who loves bears.

I think I probably will read Reality Steve’s spoilers, when I get the chance. But I’m a little undecided. Actually, sometimes reading the spoilers really does make the season more boring. However, I can’t stand NOT knowing something, when the information is just out there for the taking.

Yours in the single life,

Julie Julie

PS - Another thing I learned watching this episode is that I want blonde hair extensions.

PPS - It’s sexist that “bachelorette” is not a word, according to Word, and “bachelor” is.


  1. First of all, I can NOT stand the weatherman, how could she POSSIBLY be attracted to that shrimp w/NO personality or redeeming qualities at ALL. UGH, I can NOT STAND him!!!!! PLEASE get rid of him ASAP!Second, if I were Ali I'd be calling up Jake BEGGING for him back, she has got THE WORST group of guys I have EVER seen. Which, on one hand makes me laugh bc everyone who applied knew Ali was going to be the next Bachelorette, so if THOSE are the kinds of guys she attracts, i feel sorry for her, unlike Jillian - aka Jilly Beans - she attracted some SERIOUS Hotties and wonderful guys, unlike this dumb blonde w/fake extensions, yes, they are fake, I was like, Damn her hair grows fast, oh wait, NOTHING on this show is real including her HAIR. Anyways, Jilly Beans was THE best bachelorette of ALL time, nothing will ever compare. Anyways, I am sooooo disappointed in this season it's unreal. Past seasons have disappointed me, but not to this extreme, I actually almost find it PAINFUL to watch this show. For the first time EVER I realized how my Dad must feel when he watched this show ONLY bc the women in his house WANT to watch it, he suffers through it bc of us, well, let me tell you, I am suffering through this season. After those 25 guys walked out of the limo i sware I would have called Jake and BEGGED him to dump V and come rescue me from the house cause that woman has NO ONE to choose from - SERIOUSLY. I have never seen so many UNattractive, personalityLESS men gathered in one spot in my life. There are 2 cute guys on the show - TWO. Roberto & the westler, but seriously, a westerl, and not even a REAL westler, a fake one who pretends to beat people up....I'm not sure what is worse...a real westerl or a fake one... Either way I think he is cute and I like him and he has a cute smile and seems like a genuine PERSON, but does NOT seem genuinely into Ali. In fact, the only one who actually seems INTO Ali at all is that freak Frank.

  2. Yes, on to Frank. Frank to the camera "i quit my job and moved in w/my parents" Frank to Ali "I quit my job and moved to Paris" realllyyyyyy? Forgot to tell her that you're now living with mommy and daddy. Secondly, going to Paris for ONE MONTH is NOT considered "MOVING to Paris" that is the dumbest thing I've heard. "I moved to Paris" ..........for 4 weeks. LOSER. He seems emotionally UNbalanced. He has been WAY too into Ali before even meeting her, that is NOT normal. Also, she does NOT seem like she'd be into him at ALL. There is NO chemistry. On to the guy who looks EXACLTY like Max - Jesse. When a girl tells you how scared she is of something - ie flying - and then proceeds to THROW herself onto your lap - DO SOMETHING!!!!! He sat there looking sooooo clueless, she was begging for protection and he did NOT man-up, it was DISAPPOINTING, I would have kicked him out of the plane right then and there and went to Los Veg stag. Secondly, if I was dating a guy that looks like an ink pen exploded all over his skin I would have curbed him right then and there, there is NO reason to have 90% of your bod covered in tattooes - NOT attractive. Plus isn't he only like 24. He looks like he has a LOT of partying left to do in life, DEFINITLY NOT ready to settle down. I like Steve, he is the one who looks like a Greek God. Blue eyes, curly hair. I want some one on one time with him. Ali was a HORRIBLE pick. God that girl annoys me. She has a HORRIBLE personality, that we haven't even gotten to see cause all she does is laugh and giggle about STUPID stuff. Can she even HAVE an intelligent conversation? She is NERVOUS and sooooo UNcomfortable in front of a camera, and she just comes off as being a BAD actress as opposed to some women genuinely looking for love. She is REALLY awful.....and so is her makeup artist. Check out her face closely sometime...she looks like a racoon wearing the wrong shade of blush!!!And secondly guys - Ali does NOT own a private jet, she will NOT be whisking you off to Vegas, or driving you around in a convertable, it is ALL staged. Take away all the jets, house, cars and you are left with a snotty, drama-loving, annoying brat and some hair extensions. Since I'm talking about the car -um, FAKE. Did you notice that when they showed the care BEFORE the commercial break it was on a bridge, next to a railing. After the commcercial break, the car had somehow moved to the side of the road with NO rail, onto dirt. Yeah, and I'm sure Ali and Frank skipped along the side of the road down to La La land....

  3. Speaking of fake. For some reason this season seems to be THE fakest season EVER, I mean EVERRRRRR. EVERYTHING about this show comes off sOOOOOOOO fake. Now I know this show is "produced" but usually it captures me enough that I can actually look past the shadow of the camera man or the lights that accidentally show in the corner, or the obvious scene set-ups, but NOT this time. All I can think of is how incredibly STAGED this whole thing is and I can't get past it. It makes it VERY UNenjoyable to watch, it's awful.
    Leave it to the Latino to get the 1st impression rose. He is cute, but I'm willing to bet $100,2000,3000 dollars that he is the one with the "girlfriend." Latinos - HOT, charming, suave, smooth, accent, salsa-dancing, spanish speaking HOTTIE who will cheat on you, lie to you and make you think YOU are the bad one in the situation. Yep, typical Latino, hot as fire - but you WILL get burnt. Oh, and I also like Cape Cod boy. HE seems like a good guy. But, when someone asks if your parents are still together and you say yes, even though your mom is in the ground....not normal. That is not some deep secret that can only come out after you get to know someone, like, "Oh, I actually used to be a woman" - THAT you might want to wait on. "My mom died" not really a skeleton in the closet.

    I think that is all I have to say. I was NOT going to read RS this season so that I could keep things a surprise, but honestly, i MIGHT have to read it now as maybe his blogs WILL keep me interested cause the show sure is NOT doing it. Oh, one last thing.....what the F is wrong with Kaseys voicebox!!!??? He sounds like he has a grape caught in the back of his throat......or like a robot, or, actually, you know who he sounds like - E.T.

  4. Just finished watching the premiere, and i have to say, the 'take home message' for me is that Craig is THE SPITING IMAGE OF PATRICK DEMPSY!!!! I can NOT get over how alike they look!!! Although Craig seems like someone who would be my worst enemy, I have a soft spot for Dr. McDreamy, aka Craig.


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