Julie and Sarah Do Kimmel Live

So, thanks to Paulette, who hooked up me and Sarah with tickets to see Ali and Roberto on Jimmy Kimmel Live. As soon as we arrived, we saw Ali in the alley... (hahaha!!) She came outside, looking for some alleged fans who had wanted to get a picture with her... but the fans were no where to be seen. Not wanting Ali to feel embarrassed, Sarah and I graciously offered to take our picture with her:

Sarah had the brilliant idea to take the Metro down to Hollywood and Highland. And it was definitely the best idea ever. It took us like five minutes. If we had tried to drive, we would have been stuck in traffic for hours.

The "Step Up 3D" or something premiere was also happening on Hollywood Blvd, and put a real cramp in our style trying to get backstage to Kimmel.

But we made it back stage to the green room where we got food and drinks and witnessed Ali and Roberto "canoodling." We got to see the show from there and it was fun.

So I have not thoroughly watched the finale episode yet, just sort of scanned through it. Sorry to be rude, but I find Roberto incredibly boring. And Chris L. mystifies me.

Re-cap coming soon!!!!!

The Take Home Message: Chemistry Beats Compatibility

First off, I was disappointed that I had to watch the entire Bachelorette episode first before I got to see Jake and Vienna square off. And after watching the entire thing, I really think they should have aired Jake and Vienna first. That showdown was a real buzz kill and therefore the show really ended on a negative note. Thanks for harshing my mellow, ABC. I would rather have watched Vienna's meltdown first, then be uplifted by Ali, who is still allegedly looking for love.

But whatever.

Off our Bachelors + Ali + Chris Harrison jet to Portugal.
The date card arrived in the hotel suite and I liked Frank for one second. The card said "Come be the king of my castle." So Frank was like "What if she throws you in the dungeon?" And Roberto was like "Kings don't spend time in the dungeon." Then Frank is like "That's true. Damnit!" But in a cute way. Like, you know the producers are just sitting around making them shoot the breeze and make up lame comments about the stupid date card. And it was like Frank was just being a good sport and going along with it. So I liked him for a split second for the first time all season.

I think Roberto is the blah-est person on the face of the planet. I am even more bored by his existence than I was by that other guy who never spoke or made any facial expressions. If Roberto actually has any interesting aspects about him, they sure as hell aren't showing them to us.

So, Roberto gets the first one on one date. They walk around the city.
So, am I just like a really impatient bitch or something?? Because I found the fact that Roberto couldn't get a shot of her jumping in the air to be really annoying, when she got a shot of him kicking on the first [shown] try. I guess I find ineptitude tiring... particularly in a dating situation.
I felt really bad for the stoic security guard whose ear she whispered into and with whom she struck a pose. How obnoxious and unoriginal! I'm not particularly a huge fan of Ali's, but the one thing I do like about her is that I don't think she's really boy crazy. But acting like a jerk with that security guard was just a Stupid Girl thing to do.
Obviously I threw up in my mouth when they spontaneously danced in the street. Furthermore, if some guy pulled some cheesy move like that on me, I'd be highly suspicious. So, I can't tell if Roberto genuinely "can't help but to dance when he hears music" [that was added in post-production] or if this is some kind of move. He seems like a genuine guy I guess. Genuinely boring. I don’t know... the other guys seem to like him, so that's a good sign. He mostly just puts me to sleep.
I actually agreed with Ali's comment that "life isn't a fairytale, but love can be." Uhmm... yeah, exactly. Falling in love DOES feel like a fairytale. But life ISN'T. That's why you should be CAREFUL who you "fall in love" with and who you let into your life. "Love" feels like a fairytale, but nature designed it that way to trick you into reproducing. So proceed with extreme caution when "falling in love."
Also, I realized when she handed him a cracker with a pepperoni on it and said "this is the only food I will ever make" that it actually did NOT make her look cute. It was pretty un-cute and annoying. Which made me realize I probably need to take cooking classes myself and learn how to cook if I want tons of guys to marry me (see my other blog if you didn't get the reference.)
Other than that, wow, this dude is coma-inducing..... and possibly full of the brown stuff?? He's got a couple too many cheesy comments and moves for my taste. She seems to be in love with him though, I guess. What the hell do I know?

Up next: the two on one date with Ty and Frank.
So, I'm kind of attracted to Ty, despite his penchant for traditional gender roles. I think it's because of his broad shoulders. Obviously that weird embellishment on his shirt is heinous. But look how broad his shoulders are compared to Frank's. I like that. However, I do also have a creepy Good Old Boy vibe from him. Like, was his Daddy in the Klan or anything? I don’t know... something about him just makes me picture old white guys sitting around in wood paneled rooms being elected for public office and oppressing women and minorities. But hey, maybe that's just me?!
Well he dug his own grave anyway with Ali with all that talk about how precious it was for her to have goals in life.

So she's down to only five guys -- do they usually do two on one dates this late in the game? I don’t think so. I think we've seen five HOMETOWN dates in the past. Not sure why they are forcing a two on one this late in the game, where no one has to go home. But yeah... by this point, a two on one is extremely awkward as they all noted.

So Frank pulls her aside to drop his bomb shell of a secret on her. Is he divorced? Does he have a kid or two running around somewhere? Oh no, this news is FAR WORSE. "One thing I have to tell Ali tonight is that I live with my parents." HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's one of the best lines I've ever heard in Bachelor history. And I love how he tries to spin his bunking with his parents into a "family is the most important thing to me."

Oh man, that is some BAD NEWS that I do NOT want to hear from a guy I'm dating. Hey Frank, just because you moved out at eighteen does not make it okay for you to move back in at thirty-one. In fact, why would you even think that??? What the hell does that prove? Who cares what age you moved OUT at? Moving back IN at thirty-one is NOT COOL. Just because you leave home at fourteen doesn't mean you put some years away in a bank and you can cash in on them later with interest by moving home when you are forty. Your parents should be moving in with YOU, not the other way around.

Now obviously, I am knocking on wood hard core that I don’t lose my job and all my money and have to move back in with Marty and Joeline. However, Frank QUIT his job and moved to Paris to write screenplays. So he kind of had it coming.

Anyway, Ali seemed really un-fazed by his little revelation. In fact, you could tell she was nervous and biting her lip and scared about what plot twist was about to be revealed to her. When it turned out it was just the fact that he lived in his Mom's basement, she felt really relieved and hugged and kissed him. Frank was also relieved that Ali didn't care he lived at home.
I found that weird. I thought Ali was all about working and having a career. So I'm not sure what she sees in Frank... much less why she doesn't care he's freeloading off his parents. I would be VERY turned off by a man who's crashing on the homefront. But I think Ali is actually kind of in love with Frank and has some kind of chemistry with him. Whatever -- good luck with that, y'all, since apparently Frank is going to tell her "We need to talk" "later this season."

As I have stated previously, I guess I just think Frank is high-strung, neurotic and insecure. He kind of depresses me.... as do most people with no career prospects.

Incoming: Kirk.

Ali and Kirk have a one on one date, walking around the city and going in a horse carriage. He pronounces her name "Ellie." I guess this is because he is from Wis-can-sin.
So Ali confesses that this date isn't going as well as she hoped either. She just said the same thing about her two on one date and she's going to basically say it again during her date with Chris L. Here is my personal interpretation: I think she's getting depressed and stressed out at this point because she is realizing that she is just not that into ANY of these guys. You know that sinking feeling you get when you realize the nice guy you are dating just isn't the right guy for you? That is the feeling she has right now--- times five.

I thought their conversation over dinner was extremely stupid. Kirk said he realized that he DID deserve love. Ali said she was worried she wasn't good enough for him. OMG people. I'm not saying that it's not understandable to have those feelings. But I AM saying that maybe you should discuss those feelings with your THERAPIST and NOT ON A DATE. Omg!!! What a turn off!!! You need to figure out that you "deserve" love and that you are "good enough" on your OWN TERMS and not on a date!!! If you haven't realized that you are worthy and deserve love, then you shouldn’t even be on a date. It should be a given when you're on a date that both people understand they are worthy and deserve love. The only thing in question should be whether or not y'all are going to find that with each other. How embarrassing!!

Bands singing to an audience of two continue to creep me out. And Ali looks like my Grandma in that outfit. I am sure she is reading my blog from heaven.
Nothing else to really say about Kirk, other than my friend who I was watching it with, Jackie, said he was gay. I'M not saying he's gay, but I AM saying that I see what she is saying. Now that's she's mentioned it, if he came out of the closet, it wouldn't be the biggest surprise of my life. In fact, I have called so many people on this show gay, that I think they need to do a special on all the past contestants who are actually gay. They could call it: A Rose Out Of the Closet.

In rolls Chris L. dressed to the twos. Not sure why he can't manage to clean himself up and put on something nice for once. Or at least something not frumpy and baggy.

Ali is SO not in love with Chris. She just called him a FRIEND and said their relationship is moving way too slow. Sorry Chris, but there's no bouncing back from that. Ali is NOT into Chris L. and never will be.

Now as for me, my feelings about him are still mysterious. I still think we have great chemistry (hahaha!!!). But then he keeps doing and saying things that make me cringe.

The whole scooter incident was not very attractive to me. I didn't like how he was like "I can't be known as the guy that killed The Bachelorette." I'd be annoyed if I was Ali. He should care about killing ALI, regardless of if she is The Bachelorette or not. I don’t think he meant anything bad by it... but my fears continue to grow that perhaps he's not that smart?

It also wasn't very cute how he didn't know how to drive the scooter and was apparently driving at like five miles per hour. I'm not a fan of driving anything: cars, planes, boats, scooters or go-carts. So I definitely prefer a man that can just take the damn wheel and get the vehicle where it needs to go. It would seem that Chris L. is not that man. Ali had to take the wheel.


Also, look how NOT into him she is. Driving with her arms around his SHOULDERS? HAHAH!!! Don't you normally put your arms around someone's WAIST when you are riding? I don’t know...

I do think a really fun date would be to go riding on the back of a motorcycle throughout all the hills and canyons in LA. I'm not saying that I want to go to the ICU, but I AM saying that I actually do find motorcycles to be really fun.

My fears that Chris L is a drunk frat bro worsened when they went to the winery and he made some crack about "are we going to drink that whole big one?" What? Joking about drinking a barrel of wine isn't very clever, in my opinion.

Haha, I love how he claims that he and his brothers are hilarious and sarcastic and mess around with each other all the time. Hmmm.... I will be the judge of that when we see them next week on your hometown date.
All right, the Mom thing is getting old. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that the producers are playing this storyline up?

It's also pretty clear that the producers made them all suck up to her and talk about how much they wanted her to meet their families. I don’t know... none of them seemed genuinely concerned about that aspect, so it's never been so crystal clear to me that the producers were clearly like "U better talk to her about why you want her to meet your fam, otherwise you might not get a rose, yo."

That bracelet gift was totally a producer-thing too. Not impressed.

I'm not sure if Chris is really in love with her or what, but he DEFINITELY needs a way nicer, sweeter, gentler woman than Ali. Whatever. Chris L makes me want to guard and protect HIS heart.

Rose Ceremony!!!

I'm loving the fact that it's a rainy, stormy, thunder-y night over there in Portugal.

Once again Chris L. shows up for the rose ceremony looking the opposite of sharp. I know some of you were highly disappointed by my lack of screen grabs last week (Mollie, Dad). So I am providing you with one shot from last week:
Chris looking like S at the rose ceremony. This week? Same deal.
But look how cute his smile is.
Anyway, bye Ty.
So one thing I've noticed on all the seasons of The Bachelorette is that the girl/Bachelorette is the one crying all the time, even though she is also the one sending all the guys home. And I'm always like "Oh, see how hard it is for women??!!"
Well, Ali is really proving me wrong this season. I don’t think we've seen her cry once, have we? This just goes to further prove my point that she is not into ANYONE. I'm starting to think that maybe she isn't the relationship type or something?? Is there such a type?
None of the guys have seemed that torn up either.

Moving on to The Bachelor: Every Rose Has a Thorn
Before I get started, I would just like to say that if I had the chance to sell my bitter break up story to Star magazine for fifty grand, I definitely would. All's fair in love and war. And if someone screwed you over, might as well make some $$$$ off it.
So I basically believe Vienna.

You can tell that Vienna was genuinely emotionally invested, while Jake just sat there like some sort of robot.

The only new thing I really learned about Vienna during this is that she really IS pretty annoying and does seem to have a severe interrupting problem. Maybe they just cut it that way to make it seem like she kept cutting him off... but personally I believe she probably DID keep cutting him off.

But I think Jake is way worse. The way he argued with her was very creepy. He would just make these scathing, cutting and cruel little one-liners to her. Like "who was that guy at the apartment." And "the guy you were fooling around with said it." Or "HAHAHAHA that's a BIG SHOCK you are going to stay in LA." He just creeped me out. I really believe her over him.

I think her character flaws are that she is very young and very stupid. That is forgivable though. You can't really help either of those flaws. She probably DOESN'T have much to bring to a relationship.

Meanwhile, Jake is ten years older than she is. He clearly has the advantage of more life experience. And I really think he used her. I do think he is the fame whore. And his cheating accusations seemed pretty bogus, honestly.

She DID keep interrupting him to an extreme, but still when he snapped "Stop interrupting me!" you could see how he treated her like a little child, just as she said. Now, maybe she deserved it somewhat, for ACTING stupid and young. But Jake knew all along that she was a stupid twenty-three year old - so the blame still goes to Jake. What exactly did he think he was going to have in common with a twenty-three year old party slash Daddy's girl?

Then you could see that he was thinking "Damnit I just let me true colors show through!" since he tries so hard to present this picture perfect image of himself to the world. Remember when he was going ON to Jillian about how frustrating it was that everyone thought he was SO perfect and couldn't believe that that was just genuinely who he was?? Well Jake we are seeing who you really are for sure now.
That is right when Vienna crumpled into tears and stormed off.

I feel like Jake basically messed with the wrong girl, sort of. Like, if he had picked Tenley, they probably would have just broken up in peace and quiet and we never would have seen all this. But Vienna is dumb enough (... or smart enough??) not to just internalize everything and take all the blame on herself. And she innocent slash dumb enough to think that going on TV and to the tabloids to talk about it will clear her name and let people know her side. But then again, she's kind of right, because I can't imagine anyone watching this would side with Jake?
So after Vienna stormed off and Jake continued to sit there like an emotionless snake, even Chris Harrison was like "Uhm, do you like even feel bad or anything?" Yeah, that really struck me as un-gentlemanly behavior too.... it did feel kind of weird and odd to me for a guy to be party to riling up his ex-fiance like that, then just sit there interested only in his own honor as she stormed off hysterically crying. I'm not really sure what else he could have done in that position? But it really did strike me as VERY un-gentlemanly behavior to treat a woman like that. Women get upset and cry over nothing... learn to deal, man. And this doesn’t really seem like nothing either. Jake is an idiot and has no clue how to treat women. I mean.... I'm just thinking of it this way - I can't picture Chris L. doing this to any woman. Most men would not rile up their ex-fiance to the point of hysteria, then just sit there like a statue when she melted down and ran off the set.

No matter how stupid or annoying Vienna is, I am still putting the blame on Jake, because he is older and clearly took advantage of her. This is my opinion.

So I love how Jake was then all "Chris Harrison, I have NEVER been in a relationship before where I have raised my voice." Yeah right. A - I don't believe you. And B - even if that WAS true, then why is your judgment so horrendous that you thought being in a relationship with Vienna was a good idea?

Then in the end, Jake even busted out a fake for-the-camera laugh, like an anchorman would do at the end of a broadcast. What the HELL, Jake? Did you SEE what just happened?? Did you NOTICE how a woman that you were allegedly in love with and engaged to just stormed off hysterically? And you have NO EMOTION?? You are Anchorman-laughing??

I guess Vienna had it coming for ever going on the show in the first place. But I still feel bad for her because I think she is just extremely stupid and really got herself hurt. But then again, being stupid can definitely work in your favor. So hopefully she will be able to bounce back well. I definitely like her more now that I have seen this.

I think Jake is a weird-o control freak. And I hope he can come to terms with the fact that he is gay, but that he can still love Jesus and go to heaven. Also Jake, if you are reading my blog -- take my advice. Accepting your homosexuality and coming out of the closet will be good for you on MANY levels. THAT would be a GREAT way to keep your fifteen minutes of fame going. I would DEFINITELY tune in to see that special and read all the magazines about it. Plus, then you would be a nicer person all around since you wouldn't be leading a secret life, you could find a nice hot boyfriend, apologize to Vienna and pursue your acting career.

I actually found the whole thing kind of depressing to watch. It was a cruel reminder to me that my entertainment on Monday nights comes at the expense of other people's emotions (not Jake's for damn sure, but clearly Vienna's). I prefer to focus on the roses, romantic dates and wine. I don't like to look behind the wizard's curtain.

Who am I kidding? Watching how people handle being manipulated is the exact reason I watch. Yikes. Poor Vienna... and Jake is creepy.

I am on Team Vienna. What team are you on?

Yours in the Single Life,
Julie Julie

PS - I don't think anyone "deserves" love. I kind of take issue with that word. No one really "DESERVES" anything actually. The only thing you DESERVE is something you earned... like -- I don't know, a PAYCHECK at the end of the work week. You don’t DESERVE love. You are just lucky and blessed if you happen to find it.

PPS - I've realized that I'm more interested in having a crush on the person I marry than actually being compatible with him. Chris L. taught me this lesson.

The Take Home Message: Don't Call Me Darlin'

I guess that's not really anything I personally learned last night. But it's just a tip for anyone out there thinking of dating me (aka -- probably no one reading this blog). SERIOUSLY!!! Nothing gets under my skin worse than sexist dudes. Sorry if that means I'm a femi-nazi who will die alone and be eaten by cats.I can't stand being talked down to by men who think I'm some dumb girl who doesn't know any better. Ugh!!! I'm not sure how long you have to know a girl before calling her "sweetheart" or "darlin" is no longer offensive, but I'm pretty sure it's more than a week or two. I'm talking to you, Rated R and you too, Hunter. So gross listening to them. I dunno.... I kinda think maybe the men were feeling frustrated that Ali had all the power and putting her down with diminutive nicknames was their way of taking back the night.


Anyway... onto Roberto's one on one date. I don't know. I guess he seems nice enough, just not really my style. I get that he's a hot looking man, but he doesn't really do it for me. Also, call me a high maintenance prude, but I'd be pissed if I went to pick someone up for my date, and they were already pounding beers. Ugh, it was painful to watch that tight-rope walk.... I HATE heights... I mean, I am SOO afraid of heights... that alone would be enough reason for me not to Be The Next Bachelorette (uhhh.... among other reasons). Do you think they had to walk back across the tight rope after dinner, all drunk and stuffed with food? I mean, she said that was the ONLY way over there... was there another way back?I loved how she was like "So... are you like fluent in Spanish?? REALLY??!! You ARE? OMG!" I know. I was also shocked that someone named Roberto was a fluent hablo-er of the Espanol. So you know how news reporters will like say their name with a straight non-accent voice, but then when they get to the part where they say their name, go into this deep accent... well, that's how I hear his name in my head. Ra-BARE-toe. They all pronounce it like Ro-burr-to. Funny. I guess I have been living in LA too long.
I was severely grossed out when she told him to kiss her in Spanish. I just thought it was dumb and I wasn't really impressed that he was all cultured and well-traveled... blah blah blah. So what. Who cares. He seems nice enough... seriously. I'm just not that into him.

SIDE NOTE: Even though Roberto bragging about how cultured and well-traveled he was, was seriously boring and lame... at least he wasn't as lame as Frank -- who felt compelled to declare how "Cultured and Experienced" he was on a t-shirt:END SIDE NOTE.

Anyway, it did get me to thinking that this show is pretty damn racist. When are we going to see anyone besides a white person on it? We've had a FEW black girls that I remember, but none that stuck around long. Especially when it gets down to the final few or the main Bachelor/Bachelorette it's basically all white people.
The unfortunateness of which was prominently displayed at the Barenaked Ladies group date. Holy sh!t that was awkward. I now truly understand why some people are telling me they can't bear to watch this season. Ugh. Watching those white boys try to dance... in broad daylight.... in a non-crowd.... with all dudes and only one chick to keep it flowing. Wow... it was just too much for even me - one of the biggest fans of the show - to take. I don't know... maybe it's just me? I'm not that into live music. I mean, the group speedo date I thought was cute. This was just painful. Thank god it's over with.Now, onto filming the ridiculous set up scenes for the music video. That was funnier. We learned a couple things:

1. Frank is creepy
2. She has chemistry with Kirk
3. Weatherman/Jonathan is gay


As to point three: you know, I really had to think about this, now that I'm a celebrity blogger. I can't just go saying mean things about people. I have to think about what lines I'm going to cross. But seriously.... that guy is SO gay that I think I'm doing him a favor by hopefully helping to come to grips with his homosexuality and lead a comfortable and open life as a gay man. Move to LA, dude. You can be gay here.
You know the part where before their scene, Jonathan was like "So, this says we're supposed to kiss, but if you're not comfortable with it, just let me know, we don't have to." I definitely appreciate a man who is sympathetic to the cause of not molesting women. However... that was still gay. Jonathan was then so fixated on the kiss and everything. But honestly I read all that frustration as frustration with himself that there was no chemistry, because he WANTS to be straight and be attracted to her. However... he isn't. I definitely agree that this was his first kiss.... ever. Oh well. Poor kid. I genuinely do feel bad for him. I hope he can come to terms with who he is and lead a good life, straight or gay. What the hell do I know?

As a side note on the topic of Gay... when are they going to go with a gay storyline?? Come on... we need a Bachelor/ette to come out of the closet for sure.


Regarding point one, Frank is creepy and my dislike for him is increasing. I love how adamant he was that he and she had a REAL kiss, NOT a scripted kiss. Whatever Frank. She's interested in other dudes and it's time for you to ACCEPT that. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him get repeatedly slapped by Ali during the shoot. He just strikes me as the high-strung, neurotic writer-type. In the words of my high-school English teacher, Mrs. Gladys Howell, as she went around the classroom, interested in what the cool kids were doing for spring break... and when a non-cool kid started to state his or her plans, she would cut them off: "NEXT."

As I stated in point two, Ali wants Kirk bad. He SEEMS like he might be funny and nice. I kept waiting for him to make a good comment... but uh, he never really did. So I can't really tell if he's cool or not. I wonder if they really actually said "Cut." "CUT!" twice or just edited that in. I'm thinking it was the latter.

So I wasn't particularly loving Chris L's periodic table of the elements t-shirt. Maybe that's because I'm not really into scientist dudes? I can't really tell if he is a genuinely nice, sweet, funny, gentle man who puts family first, has smart comments and is cool... or if he's a punk-ass, homophobic, douchey frat-bro. The fact that he said he won a flip cup tournament in Vegas doesn't bode well. I also thought it was misguided to say that THIS:

is gang infested and sketchy.

But on the other hand, he does seem to have a really cute smile. I'm definitely wracked with guilt and remorse for posting a cartoon of his comments about his Mom. I feel really bad... but on the other hand, he shouldn't have gone on The Bachelorette if he didn't want me to make fun of him. My main question is... if he has a tat of his mom's signature on his heart, when's he gonna pop that shirt off and show us?

Aw, Max!!
So the Justin-sneaking-out-of-the-house-to-see-Ali-and-the-guys-freaking-out-about-it-drama was pretty tiresome. The only funny part was how he did it all in the name of Chris Harrison, who TOLD them they needed to do whatever it takes to win the girl.

This is what I took away from Rated R's actions and words last night: I now think that he is a womanizer who wishes he wasn't. I now believe that Justin is that full-of-$h!t type of guy. He's the kind of guy that will go out of his way to make grand, romantic gestures that all the world can admire... but when you actually NEED his help... like a ride to the airport or to switch shifts at work or for him to drive out of his way and pick something up from the store for you.... yeah, he won't be there.

As I stated, he abused the words "honey, hun and sweetie" and then gave us the sad tale of how his father left him as a child and he grew up with no father figure. He really did seem passionate in his soliloquy about the importance of children having a father figure. He got very emotional, telling us that he WILL be there for his son. Well I have a question for you Justin-boy: what if you had a DAUGHTER??? Would you be there for her?? What if you ended up like my Dad and had FOUR daughters??? What if they grew up to be obsessed fans of The Bachelor? Would you show your love and support to them by watching it and reading their blogs and even forming opinions on the contestants? Would you? WOULD YOU?


I didn't think so. Here is Justin sadly pondering his fate. His father left him and he will inevitably do the same to his children one day. Even though he WANTS to be a stand up man and do a woman right, he just can't. I understand how you feel, Justin. I can't commit to one purse. No matter how beautiful, glamorous or custom made just-for-me she is... I can't keep my eye off other purses. Tiger, Jesse, John Edwards.... I understand.

So, that really sucked for Hunter. What a lame-ass date. Man, I'd be PISSED if I went on The Bachelor and then instead of getting a helicopter ride, or private jet, or yacht... I got to effing chill at home. SUCKS!! Even though I hate heights, I'd still rather jump off a cliff or building or something than "chill at home." So lame! But then again, I was so deeply offended by his incessant use of "darlin" that I'm glad he got the shaft.
I did think Ali was being herself. Not overly giggly or anything, just chill. I think she knew all along she wasn't into him and that he was heading home, but she still had to go on the date. It made me like her better that she didn't get all over him and how clear it was that she wasn't into him. I am glad that she didn't kiss him or anything in the hot tub. Man, even though Hunter offended me, he looked so sad in his interview, I started feeling bad for him. Sorry Hunter. It sucks, but sometimes the chemistry is not there! I recommend you stop calling women "darlin."

Meanwhile, back at the mansion....
...the part where the Grim Reaper came for Hunter's luggage was HI-LARIOUS!! LOL!!! Seriously... that's the Grim Reaper. Come on!

I still like Craig, despite the fact that he's a booze-hound. An ENTIRE BOTTLE, Craig? Really now.
I know Tyler was kind of the ring-leader in the whole [annoying] anti-Justin crusade this week. But I still like him also. Even though last week I said his accent was too Southern and that he wasn't cute, this week I liked his Southern accent and thought he was cute. He needs to lose that queer [and I don't mean GAY, stop being offended] necklace. But I found his Southern passion kind of hot this week. We'll see.


And.... Kasey wants to sign her a song?? With THAT voice? Looks like he will next week and I can't wait!
Too bad this picnic FAILED and this guy got sent home. I thought he was cute and seemed nice.

This was a fitting tag... a mouse infested The Bachelor Pad, in light of all the emails my siblings and I have been exchanging this week re: household pests traumatizing us. The bad news: there is a mouse in the house. The good news: Chris still has all his hair. Also... I think they're all wearing yellow to impress Ali.

Yours in the Single Life,
Julie Julie

PS - Three of my coworkers busted me staying late to watch the early feed. I busted myself first to one by asking when the show fed in. The other two were walking by my office. One was like, "What are you watching?" When I told him "The Bachelorette," he was like "Really?? WTF? I've been wondering WHO actually watches that?" I said "Me and all my friends and everyone I know." And the other guy said resignedly.... "They all want a man." I wish I could say he was wrong.

PPS - I'm really looking forward to the suicide attempt next week.