Deception Reigns

Remember the SATs? Well I have an analogy for you all.

Bentley is to Ashley as...
ABC is to me.
I tuned in on Monday night to see Bentley come back!!!! The promos specifically SAID that he was coming back NEXT WEEK. Not just in general in the future on the season, no it specifically said he was coming back THIS WEEK.

And just like Bentley tricked Ashley into thinking he's her future husband and soul mate, ABC tricked me into thinking B-dawg was coming back.
I know that I have said I'm over the Bentley story-line, which I am. But I really wanted to see if she was finally going to figure out what a miserable D-bag he is. I still find the whole thing very confusing.... not exactly sure why ABC is allowing this shite to play out. It is offensive to me, to Ashley and to all the women in America and throughout the world, as well as to our women ancestors who fought for our right to vote.
Also it's obvious that Ashley is partly not moving on, because she clearly watched The Bachelorette starring Jillian in which Ed "left" then "came back." Clearly THAT was scripted and made up to create drama. So she is confused as to if this is some other producer-made up drama, which is the real reason Bentley left. So she is "being true" to her feelings.... which is her infatuation with Bentley and her belief that he only left bc the producers wanted to create drama. She wants him to come back and win the final rose, just like Ed did.

So anyway, in the spirit of treachery and trickery that ABC is promoting, this is not going to be a real re-cap. As we all know, I have really been lagging behind in my blogging this season. So let's just run down the cast of characters and get our (my) thoughts and opinions out there for the world to enjoy.

FIRST UP! is Ashley, naturally.
Ok you guys. Now I know that I have been defending her since last season w/ Womack, saying "Ashley is NOT insecure you guys... Brad just makes her FEEL insecure." Well I am here to tell you that I [finally] see it. I still like her okay... I mean, definitely I like her better than Ali. But she REALLY needs to let go of this whole "I know most of you boys aren't going to fall in love with little ole' me!"

I mean, I get feeling that way a little bit. It's definitely true that even though the show is set up to have all the men fighting over one girl, in reality all the men really are NOT necessarily going to be into her. And it would be hard to be Ashley because you really would NOT probably be able to tell who was really into you and who was just going along with the competition. Furthermore, I hate to add to Ashley's insecurity, but she IS right that she isn't very sexy.NOW, don't get me wrong. I do think that she is cute and petite and dresses like an Olsen twin. And aside from her insecurity, she does seem like a nice girl, and I do support how she seems to be very honest with her feelings. HOWEVER, yeah, she really unfortunately is on to something when she notes that not all men are going to be into her.

But I mean, all men are not going to be into MOST women, so she really has nothing to worry about. You don't need ALL or MOST men to be in love with you... you really only need ONE dude to be in love with you if you want to get married. So let's all just settle down now.

But yeah, Chantal and Emily were sexy and pretty and curvy, so yeah, most men I think WOULD be in love with them... (although some people are turned off by Emily's copious amounts of plastic surgery and fake teeth and hair).
Anyway.... one other thing to note about Ash. When she was on her one-on-one date with Constantine, she stopped a poor little Thai man who was just innocently trying to live his life and started pressing him for marriage advice. He said that you have to always forgive and forget, and that it's not about "winning." CLEARLY he meant it's not about winning an argument with your wife!! Well, Ashley TOTALLY misinterpreted this and somehow thinks that it not being about "winning" has something to do with the twisted little contest they have going on there on the show.... like it's not about "winning" the Bachelorette, it's about having a true connection. I very much think she missed the point of this advice. Ha! Oh wells....

JP.
So, I'm pretty sure she should pick JP. I will have to stay tuned and see what else develops, but right now I'm pretty sure he would be her best choice. He really does seem to be into her, although I'm not exactly sure why. I said before that I think he likes the ladies... so I don't know how genuine or specific his feelings for her are. But they are both from the East Coast, the Northern East Coast, so that is a definite advantage.Also, he is REALLY cute. He is not really my type, what with the bald head and all, but he is DEFINITELY hot. He is cute like Matthew McConaughey. Now when they were getting their wrestle on, he made a comment about "I am the smallest guy here." I haven't especially noticed that he seems "small." But if he IS small, short, petite, whatever... then I think that makes him an even BETTER match for our teeny little Ash.

So, all in all, I like him and his smile and his dimples and he seemingly easy-going personality and I think she should pick him.

RYAN, THE SUN GOD.
Now, don't think that I have forgotten about this ridiculous pose he did in the pilot, nor have I forgotten about how he bragged about starting his solar wind green turbo hydro electric pure fuel company or whatever it is. He started with one employee then grew it to --- however many. While I am not that impressed with Al Gore, I guess that it IS cool he "runs" a company he started (if that's really true).Anyway, now THIS dude IS my type!!! He is really hot. So Ash -- please don't pick him, so that I can have him instead. So I've been paying close attention to how all the other guys think he is the most annoying man in the house. I have to admit, I don't quite see how he is so offensive. They all say that he is extremely intense. This is NOT a cute trait AT ALL. But he's not striking me as that intense in like a really negative, creepy way. He does seem like he has a lot of energy perhaps and is sort of busting at the seams. But then again, he also seems like he's pretty positive.I did spot the part when he went and kicked the luggage they were dragging away after both dudes got sent home on the two-on-one date and thought that could be pretty annoying to have a dude who is always jumping around and throwing and kicking things.
But then when he's talking to Ashley and having real conversations, he seems like his head is on straight.... and it's got to count for something that he has that power company, right?? So, we shall see, I suppose. I will let you know as soon as I see/discover that he is annoying and intense.

AMES.
Now this boy turned me off in Episode One when he started talking about how he went to Princeton, then Yale, then Harvard, then Stanford, then Oxford in England, then Duke, then Brown, then MIT, then CalTech, then UNC-Charlotte, then LA Valley College, then Emory, then Ivory, then took a night class in wood-working. Like, OMG, u guys. Wow. Afraid of the real world much??? Going to expensive, fancy, private schools is real cute and all, but I'm not really that impressed until someone shows me the ability to actually make it in the REAL world, where they have to WORK for MONEY in order to pay theirs BILLS and survive.

If you are 27 and you are still on your Mommy's cell phone plan (which she PAYS) then you REALLY need to check yourself before you start calling ME and MY life choices irrational and crazy. Yes "scientist" (but really just a student) ex-boyfriend, I am talking to you. Why don't you go out and get a big-boy job and then get back to me on who is the irresponsible, nonsensical one. Thanks!!

Damn!!! I need to cool off for a second. As you can clearly see, I have personal issues with this situation.Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo..... deep breath. Ames had a lot to prove to me. But now I do think that he is so sweet!!!! I LOVE AMES!!! He seems like such a sweet gentle cute smart little dude! And he's this cute little pacifist who doesn't even know how to fight and got a concussion while wearing pink boxing gear! Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. I think maybe he should be the next Bachelor. HE is the kind of guy that every girl should marry. Maybe Ashley should pick him. But I can't really tell how into each other they are or not. He seems like he's one of the guys that really IS into her. I'm not sure if she is that into him?? I really don't know. But she should really consider choosing him, if she doesn't choose JP. Or maybe she should pick Ames over JP anyway. He is so cute!

WILLIAM.
OMG. What is WRONG with this guy?!??!?!???!!!!! I mean, he didn't really do much of note the past two episodes until his ass got thrown off after the two on one date. I thought it was pretty lame how he sold out that one guy - whatever the hell his name was - that he was on the two on one date with, saying "He can't wait to go home and Internet date." But I mean, whatever... I guess I can somewhat overlook that since he apparently DID say it "in jest." But what I really can NOT support William doing is when he is like "Some of the guys here are still thinking about you, and some are NOT." Then Ashley was like "Ughh... that just gives me this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach." Yeah. That was a really insensitive comment. Whether or not and how much truth is in it is really irrelevant in my opinion. I have NO interest or respect for people who say things that make other people feel bad.For example, let's say that Person A called me fat to Person B, and then Person B came and told me that Person A said I was fat. Personally, I will have more of an issue with Person B than Person A. If someone wants to say or think negative things about me or others... whatever, that is their opinion and business. But the person I REALLY have issue with is the one who is dumb and insensitive enough to go TELL me it and make me feel HORRIBLE!!! So yeah, I have no use for William who is going around saying things that make people feel bad about themselves.
But even as bad as he was starting to come off while he was ON the show, nothing can compare to his dramatic, crazy-laced exit!!! What in the HELL!?!??!?!? OMG!! He straight up said that when he looks in the mirror, he sees a loser. Uhmmm, ok. You wanna talk about insecure??? He said his whole life was pure S, that he ruins everything he ever does and that he was just going to go back to his miserable hidey hole. Uhmmm, wow dude. Seriously, seek counseling. You can tell that he is pretty messed up. He goes around being all "funny" but obviously he has some DEEP issues inside that he seriously needs to address.
(Footnote: I think the guy in the picture isn't actually William, but some other dude from the first Episode... but wouldn't it be so much funnier if it WAS William? Hahaha).

I also liked how Ashley said that she had a spark with him at first, and took him out on this two on one date to see if she could get it back. But she couldn't. EVER. That does totally happen sometimes. I have definitely met people and swooned, thinking "Ohhhh lalalala, oh wow!!" But then once you get to know them, you are like "OMG." Then you get all embarrassed that you ever liked them, and fervently deny it for the rest of your life. BAM, that's William.
Oh. I also thought it was pretty funny when she was like "You know how you said you were a thirty-year-old boy?" And he was all "Yeah!!! I never wanna grow up, omg, I can't believe you actually remember that I said that. Wow." And then she was like "Uhm yeah. I'm looking for a MAN. Bye!"HAHAHAHA!!! Truth!!! I am also interested in a MAN, not some BOY who doesn't want to grow up! WHY would someone think that is a good selling point -- that they don't want to grow up?

MICKEY.I still cannot forgive nor forget what he did the first night, which was try to kiss her as soon as he got out of the limo. She ducked away and was freaked out. And the look on his face was one of the skeeviest I've ever seen in my life. So I just think he is soooooo creepy and nasty and I feel dirty just looking at him on the TV screen in my apartment. I hope he goes away soon.

BEN F AND CONSTANTINE.
Wait, these are two separate people??

BLAKE AND LUCAS.
No one cares about them.
So I'll be tuning in next week to see if Ashley can finally get some "closure" from the Bent-ster. Luckily I have so far been successful in avoiding any spoilers, so I really don't know who is going to win.

Yours in the Single Life,
JulieJulie