He's Baaaack!!!!!!!

So anyone who has been a fan of.... ME for awhile knows that Brad Womack has always been my favorite Bachelor. I liked how he rejected everyone... that's the only reason he was my favorite. First time around, I think he went into it thinking "Whatever... this will be a fun TV show and I'll drum up business for my bar!" (Not sure about the bar thing....)
Then when he was standing there at the final podium, engagement ring in hand... he looked into DeAnna's eye (singular) and he could see that it was more than just a TV show to her. She was all kinds of in love. At that point, he just could not find it in himself to lead her on... even for a few more weeks, while they'd have to do all that publicity, etc.
So, that's why I always liked him--- for being true to himself. I do however remember him sending home all of the good girls and generally making bad decisions about which women to keep. But whatever...So here we go again. Apparently the story line is "OMG Brad was TOTALLY dysfunctional before.... that is why he picked no one. What a CAD!!!!"
So after he ruined his life, Brad came back home to Austin. He fired up his Tivo and re-lived the disaster.
He was so depressed that he went outside and sat in the rain...
in the dark.He went to the local park and pondered his reflection in the lake.
He forced himself to stick to a healthy diet of high protein cereal, telling himself "I will NOT be that guy who gains weight after going on The Bachelor and summarily rejecting each and every Bachelorette, thus incurring the wrath of America."
He was afraid to go outside, so he would instead sit at his computer and work on his pie charts. Finally he asked himself "What is wrong w/ ME? Not w/ all the hot women I sent home, but ME?"He then decided to enlist the help of a therapist.
He even ventured outside. He took long hikes up Runyon Canyon some random canyon in Texas.He jogged along the seashore at sunset.He pumped iron.And whenever he started feeling depressed again, he would just pop his shirt off and flex his abs.
He hung around with his less cute brothers.And he caught baby fever. He realized that he need to get married ASAP. So he packed his bags and headed to LA. He met up with his old buddy, Chris Harrison.And agreed to be The Next Bachelor. Because he had CHANGED.Jenni and DeAnna come out to chat with Brad. So actually, from their perspective, if I was one of them, I would probably be kind of hurt that he was going on The Bach again. I would have thought that if he was so keen on dumping the both of us and being true to himself, that AT LEAST he could have learned one lesson: Don't go looking for love on reality television. I mean, seriously, I personally really would have thought that would be his THM (Take Home Message). But I guess not....So send in the ladies.....
Ok, so seriously, I really think they need to come up with some other sort of intro-ceremony. I could NOT sit there and watch thirty women parade out of the limos one by one. BORING. Let's shake it up a little. Have him meet two women at a time or something. And right on the spot, he has to send one woman home and the other gets to go to the cocktail party. I don't know... but really, come up w/ something ABC.

Obviously, I did NOT think the slap was funny or cute. I wasn't impressed w/ the girl who forced him to get down on one knee and propose. It was all pretty boring.

So, I got enlightened when the first girl finally said something nice to him, like "I respect what you did." or something to that effect. I think Brad really is looking for a NICE girl. But he's pretty good at being a gentleman and hiding his hurt feelings well. Like when that girl slapped him, he made it seem like he felt he deserved it and liked her more for it... but THEN when one of the girls was finally nice to him, he felt so relieved and happy.... that I think he wants a nice girl who is sympathetic to his cause.

Overall, I was deeply offended by the ages of the women. I am NOT saying that relationships with huge age gaps are NEVER okay... but I AM saying that a healthy, happy, well balanced relationship is probably MORE OFTEN found between two individuals of similar age. So why in the HELL are they pairing him up with thirty women HALF HIS AGE!!?? Ok, they are not half his age; however, the whole gaggle of them is really inappropriately younger than him. And just to give you a visual, I have prepared an Inappropriate Age Gap Graph for you. It took me a long time to figure out how to make this damn thing in Excel, but I think it's really important for us all to understand what ABC is matching him up with!!

As you can see, the oldest girl there is 32... and there is only ONE of her. The biggest age group represented was 25 and 26. And Brad is THIRTY EIGHT. That's like an average of over ten year age difference!!!

Here's another headline for you: when I was twenty-three I did date a guy that was 37, and guess what - I thought he was OLD! So this set up is really ridiculous, in my opinion.

Like I said, I am sure a relationship COULD work with such a huge age difference.... but they already have a ton of factors stacked up against them, like... I don't know, living in different states, BEING ON A REALITY SHOW. Not only does Brad have more than ten years on most of these chicks, he also has the added benefit of already going through the whole process one time... so I'm really not sure how he's going to find some sort of lasting love relationship here. Oh well, whatever. We'll see, I guess.

Oh, btw..... don't think that I didn't notice that ABC is now suddenly NOT putting the girls' ages in their captions, as they have ALWAYS done in the past. I think they are trying to draw attention away from the RIDICULOUS age gaps they created!Frankly there were really too many girls at this stage for me to form many deep opinions on any of them. I guess I like that one cute little blonde girl that looks like Dolly Parton. She seems sweet, and more importantly, she lives in Charlotte, my home town.Uhmmm... but yeah, at at 24, I think she is WAY TOO YOUNG for him. I think she also has a kid and a dead baby-daddy. So, that's sad.
As for Madison, I'll go ahead and state the obvious: he is way too old to be dating anyone named Madison!!!! Hahahahaha!!! But seriously... I think she's going to be this annoying, crazy girl that you want to go home every episode, but Brad keeps keeping her around and you are like "OMG, she is a FREAK, lose her!!!" I did kind of like how he got all stern and took her down a notch by saying that she better cut the crap if she wasn't serious. And it was also kind of funny how he's like "It's kind of hot... but if you're just messing around, get out." About her vampire fangs. HAHAHAHAAA!!!! Kind of hot????????? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok Brad!

I guess it's good to bring a super weirdo on there to make it interesting. She is very pretty... aside from the vampire teeth. But then again, I've never really been into the whole vampire thing... which is basically the romanticizing of violence against women in my opinion. But hey, whatever you like.
I think I also liked the girl that got the first impression rose. She seemed like a nice one. So good for her!
So I guess we'll see what happens. In the previews, it looks like they go visit every single exotic location they could possibly imagine. Brad seems pretty genuine, and I support his decision to go to therapy and figure out what he wants in life. I don't especially support him going on national TV to date a bunch of 25 year old random hot girls from around the country in pursuit of true love and happiness.... but what do I know?????

I also kind of feel like they really don't want him to dump everyone again, so they tried to pick out somewhat more realistic girls (aside from their inappropriate youth). And I don't buy how they tried to make it look in the previews like everyone dumped HIM and he ends up alone... although that WOULD be pretty funny.Yours in the Single Life,
JulieJulie

PS - Is Brad going to die and/or get paralyzed later in the season when he dives into a coral reef??
What the hell is this? Am I the only one who notices those ominous dark shadows lurking in the water below him????